This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
