I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
