Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
