I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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