She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
