i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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