My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found the puke drawer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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