shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize