I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
