Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I deserve to be covered in dicks
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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