so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
