then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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