just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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