Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
