He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
