I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
