....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
