also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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