Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
nutella sex= disaster
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
