we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
