we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
