It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
