I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
