I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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