Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
