Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
