We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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