I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
