He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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