I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize