So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
