Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
