haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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