I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
