apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
