I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
