Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
