I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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