i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize