Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
