Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
