Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
