i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
