it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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