So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize