Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
