At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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