do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
