Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
