So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
