things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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