Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
