i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
