I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
