people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
