Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
