She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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