big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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