everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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