Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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