Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
